BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
I have a MASSIVE blog about to be posted
Mega Adam Almond (A.C.E.)'s Blog
-
Please Wait...loading....
-
This pretty much sums things up for me right now...
Lost for Words
(Gilmour/Samson)
I was spending my time in the doldrums,
I was caught in a cauldron of hate,
I felt persecuted and paralysed,
I thought everything else would just wait.
While you are wasting your time on your enemies,
Engulfed in a fever of spite,
Beyond your tunnel vision reality fades,
Like shadows into the night.
To martyr yourself to caution,
Is not going to help at all,
Because there’ll be no safety in numbers
When the right one walks out of the door.
Can you see your days blighted by darkness?
Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?
Stuck in a world of isolation,
While the ivy grows over the door.
So I open my door to my enemies,
And I ask can we wipe the slate clean,
But they tell me to please go fuck myself
You know you just can’t win.
-
Adam Almond Blog Volume 2 Preview
Current mood:
Ok it can’t have escaped your notice that my blogs have gone quite sparse of late. So, I intend (and those of you who know me will recognise that there is a very clear difference between intention and actaully getting things done) to start again with my blogs. I am preparing one as we speak but in the meantime I have found something I wish to share with you. This is a genuine application to a McDonalds in America. This guy is a total LEGEND!
amused
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
The guy got the job due his sense of humour and honesty.
New blog soon!
Adam
xxx
-
The customer is always right...Except when the customer is a fucking tool!
Those of you who are lucky enough to actually know me will know I am quite partial to the odd bit of whinging. So as not to defy expectations here is one of my "rants"!
I work at Subway...there's a rant in it's self. I'm not going to moan about the amount of work I have to do, or the hours I work, I quite enjoy the job, and as for extra hours, while I moan and bitch about it...it's extra money at the end of the day. No, my good friends the single thing that makes my job unbearable is...yes you guessed, YOU!
I should specify, not you personally, but the customers, to specify even further, not all customers, 90% of our customers are a delight! (Maybe that's being strong) I mean the customers who walk in between the hours of 11pm-and 2am on a Friday and Saturday night. People who are drunk. I know I'm generalising here, a lot of drunk people are nice and friendly and don't give you shit. The specific people are: (Here's a list)
*The people who go out and spend their jobseekers allowance on getting themselves extremely drunk and then come in to the place where I WORK and talk to me like shit! Who the fuck do you think you are? You sit at home, watching Jeremy Kyle on a TV you have yet to make the repayments for, then go out one night and spend the money I'm paying through taxes, (Despite being technically a student I am actually paying tax...I need to get that fixed) and treat me as though I am your fucking servant! Fuck off you wanker! I do't get paid enough to have to deal with that. I don't get paid enough to the do the job I am actually doing for a kick off.
*People who try to wrangle a discount for various, questionable reasons. "I'm a regular! You have to look after your regulars!" Mate I'm working for a company that barely looks after it's staff! Some people demand a discount for some silly reasons, "Well you haven't got meatballs, I want a discount!" No mate, we haven't got meatball and you've selected a cheaper sandwich, that's discount enough. Plus, you've been coming here regularly for weeks! You know we generally won't have meatballs on at 1:30am because why should we heat up and prepare £30's worth of meatballs, for you? You are the only person who has asked for meatballs since we ran out hour's ago! A footlong, double meat, Meatball Marinara will cost you £6.69 Leaving us with at least £24 worth of meatballs left at the end of the night. Which we then have to throw away! So, sorry pal. You'll just have to have something else. We need to make money here. BOUNCERS! For god's sake, we give you the 10% discount! Most of our night staff will have worked last time you waddled in (Rick if you're reading this I don't mean you, you're cool and look like Max!) and reminded us you had a discount! So, please don't ask for you discount as "No, fuck off you cheap, arrogant bastard" often offends. While we're on the subject the REASON we give you the discount is because we're open just as late, if not later than most of the adjacent bars and clubs, so if we ever need assisstance, IE we're about to be twatted for asking someone to leave, we get on the radio and ask for it! Or at least that's the way it should be...(or shouldn't we're on the radio network and indeed pay to be so it should be a pretty automatic thing) not, as I discovered recently (and this is only some of you) when we radio for help, you go, "Ah it's too far away, and there's a group of fit girl walking up! Ican't miss that!" THAT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL SAFER!
*People who despite having been in the cue infront of the menu boards for a while, still don't know what they want by the time they get to the point of order! We have a cue to the door! You can see what's available! Seriously man, you're holding up our cue!
Ok I'm bored now...I will finish this little rant later!