SNR !! SNR !!'s Blog

It would appear that I like many people through out history can not learn from my mistakes. There would appear to be so many different sides to me. The main problems are the sides that people who are close to me see.

The few people (well girls) who have managed to get close to me, or I should probably rephrase that to the girls I have managed to get close to, are probably aware of my paradoxical self. Most would contend that most of the time I am caring and all that other bullshit they expect you to be. But it would appear that I turn into a complete asshole for like a few hours every couple weeks/months. The problem is not the cause cause every1 is aware of what turns perfectly decent people into assclowns. ALOCHOL. But I cant help myself. And yet again my hideous alter ego reared its ugly head last night causing all the usual damage to the person I should be the most protective of.

You would think that I would learn... The people who know me know that I lost my "first love" due to an argument I had while I was completely unaware of what I was saying.
And now it would appear the same circles of self destructive behaviour is happening again.
Though it is probably easier/cowardly to blame alcohol for the way in which I act, though I know it is fueled by jelousy and an array of questions spinning in my head that I cant seem to vocalise while sober but when drunk comes out in the most hurtful and repugnant fashion.

So all I have left to say is that Im sorry to those I hurt.

I must beware Of the beast in me that everybody knows They've seen him out dressed in my clothes

Below is the Lyrics for a song called Taxi Driver by Gym Class Heores.. see how many bands you can spot...

I took cutie for a ride in my deathcab
She tipped me with a kiss I dropped her off at the meth lab
Before she left she made a dashboard confessional
And spilled her guts in cursive but whats worse is
I could still see her bright eyes like sunny day real estate
Oh my and in a funny way it irritates
So high but no chance
My little chemical romance left a bad taste in my mouth
But I imposed her like hey mercedes why the long face
Why you cryin? theres no need
Just put on this coheed and fallout
Boy meets girl jimmy eat world
But Schlep eats pills till hes all out
Not once not twice she was thrice times a lady
Mackin on brand new, but I had to
Bounce over to the postal service to
Pick up these pills that take care of my nervousness
And all the way I saw planes that were mistooken for stars
She played games but she took em too far
At the drive in
Watching soft porn and you can tell
By the trail of the dead, that there was somethin in the popcorn
I hop in my cab destination midtown
Just to get up with some kids that like to get down
I'd made my rounds and that was that
In between the frowns and scraps and heart attacks
And I remember I seen her ass in early november
On a thursday takein back sunday for a refund
She shot a wink like no hard feelings
Then she jetted to brazil man them pills had me spun

This is the story of the year right here
This is hot water music
Put ya ramen into it

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