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Osemerr''s Blog

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  • Ugly inside

    I smile on the out, but a frown within, why can't anyone see through my desguise? Is it that no one can see, or you no one wants to, we preferr to live a lie.

    This throbing in my head, the ache in my heart, its eating me alive. Like stabs and rips from deep inside by a hundred-thousand knives.

    I feel alone, I feel unloved, and I can't admit to myself that I want things to change. I want to be happy, but I'm so used to what is, I can't imagine things arranged.

    I just want to get away, I hate with such passion, and I know this is not well. But I love so hard, when I do not get what I give the pain is to much to consil.

    Why am I cursed with unhappiness? I feel maybe I can never be happy. People make me feel unattractive, left out, and I...

    I don't know...I won't know...My life is pathetic!..

    I try to be happy, in a giggle I hide

     Why can't people see that I'm ugly inside?

     

  • Tears

    The faucet left running, makes the bills go high

    Another comment, another critic, another Damn lie.

    I'm working hard putting in all I can, you can't say I don't try.

    But it's the bills that leaves the faucet to run, now every night I cry.

     

    I work, but make too little, I put in, and don't get back

    I have enough to worry about, but people keep building the stack.

    Happiness and peace of mind is everything I lack

    Everywhere I turn, comes another unanticipated attack.

     

    These bills keep coming, of nagging and complaints

    I feel like a prisoner, there's just to many restraints.

    I try to hold in my anger, pain, agony, and strife,

    I can't get the faucet to stop running, even though I tried tightening the pipe.

     

    I tightened it all that I can, tried to hold my tears back,

    But than I begin to feel I'm about to have an anxiety attack.

    The longer I hold in the tears, the harder the faucet runs when it all comes out

    I pray and pray to God, but he won't ease my weary pouts.

     

    I fear my sink will over flow

    but no one cares to know.

    They complain when my pains shows,

    and that's as far as it  goes.

     

    I have a love who worries, but I push away

    Hoping he will forgive me some day,

    I appreciate that no matter what I do, he stays,

    but how long will it remain that way?

     

    The ones who are supposed to love me cause we're blood,

    seem to never live up to what they should.

    All i get is negativity, they've put me down in every way they could,

    But I do too much for them, for them to make my sink flood.

     

    So I run and run, from the ones I grow to hate,

    but no matter how hard I try, I can never escape.

    I can not trust or depend on them for anything, and to fix things, it's too late.

    Putting up with their shit, I can no longer take...

     

    So i walk on a path alone

    Trying to figure out where to go,

    My future is unknown,

    Know one can possibly know.

     

    So though I have a love, even he hasn't figured how to ease my fears

    Of misery and unhappiness and continuation of these depressing flares.

    I can't figure how to stop this faucet, I don't think it can be repaired.

    Soon I might droun, in my sink of over-flowing tears.

     

     

     

     

  • Pissed The Fuck Off

    Current mood:angry

    I am angry and fed up!
    Why do poeple always let me down?
    Maybe they don't take me serious, and think I always play around.
    Why can't i be told a favor will be done for me, and it actually be done?
    Maybe to people, letting me down is fun.
    I'm SO angry and fed up!
     
    Why do i keep my promises, but people can't keep them to me?
    Is it that people don't want me to get where I want to be?
    I give and I give, and get barely anything in return.
    Maybe it's a lesson, I haven't yet leanred.
    Maybe I should do the same, as they do to me.
    Maybe I should not care about what they "need".
    But being like them is not they way to go.
    For me, being dapendable isn't something i have to do, it's just the way I flow.
    I'm SO DAMN angy and fed up! 
     
    I don't ask for much, I barly ask at all.
    I feel that when I ask them of favors, they feel way too tall.
    People say I have to much pride, but I disagree,
    You see_ when I do ask for help, they pretty much ignore me.
    They either take me through the run around, then maybe later do it,
    Or say yes so easily, but then never go through with it. 
    I'm SO FUCKING mad and fed up!
     
    So with my pride I do my best
    Yes, I'll admit, I know I'm better then all the rest.
    Because I help those in need, and I do what i have to do to succeed
    I don't play around with those fools, who I can never believe.
    Everytime I ask for help, and help to me isn't shown
    I learn another lesson of doing things on my own.
    But considering I help those who don't try to help me,
    I feel like a joke, and doing the right thing, I no longer want to believe.
     
    I'm no longer just angry and fed up!
    I've passed being being SO angry and fed up!
    I've been gotten over being SO DAMN angry and fed up!
    I've completely forgoten about being SO FUCKING angry and fed up!
    At this point, I'm PISSED THE FUCK OFF!

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