Linda Strawberry's Blog
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BLUE FOREST
if i could unwind your clock i would
until you were still with me.
if you would un-sink your heart i could
draw you a wave to rise.
i know it hurts
i know it stings
but i don't want to run from the dreams that we stalk around in
when i lay down to sleep
i don't want to let go of all of the pauses
that reveal we still could be - looking at the trees - our forest of blue - of me and you
if i could un-talk your circular thought
until you could speak your peace -
i would be true to the last of our breath
into the nebulous unknown
i know it hurts
i know it stings
to love is a woe
that we bury deep
i don't want to run from the memory that breaks you when you lay down to sleep -
i am not afraid of the shadows that enshroud you - i've got a skeleton key.
i don't want to let go of all of the pauses
that reveal that somewhere we are - and i am still true - amongst our trees - our forest of blue - just waiting for you.
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the lightbulbs explode.
All the lightbulbs explode
All communications have fallen silent
The channels are dead
The language in hibernation
In the deep caves of a heart
Where subtle and violent dreams coexist
You leave the nest to fly solo to build the nest to be left solo.
To appear and vanish in repetition.
To feel totally lost and lonely among 6 billion.
To have potentials slip from your grasp back into the ether
To feel the slow affects of oxidization and gravity on cells the earth will reclaim
To feel that words and notes and voices have ever diminishing value.
To watch sex and money distort people into unrecognizable fiends
To see fanaticism and zealots turn hearts and minds to ice.
The pen scrawls white noise
The piano hums despair
Its all unintelligible
The outlets are blown. -
Happy Veterans Day in honor of my Uncle Jerry
On 08 November 1967 a flight of four F-105D Thunderchief aircraft of the 354th Tactical Fighter Squadron departed Takhli Royal Thai Air Force Base on a strike mission targeted against the Phuc Yen railroad by-pass bridge. The target was located about 15 miles north-northwest of Hanoi in a flat, open, and densely populated region. The flight's radio call sign was BISON, and Captain Lawrence G. Evert was flying as wingman in the second section as BISON 04 in F-105D serial #61-0094.The BISON flight was uneventful until it approached the target area, at which time it encountered heavy 37mm anti-aircraft fire. The four BISON aircraft rolled in on the target in order, with BISON 04 last sighted as Evert began his roll-in. Evert made a radio call - "I'm hit" - and failed to rejoin off target. Another pilot sighted a white and gray cloud on the west side of the railroad by-pass bridge that could have been an aircraft impact, but no parachute was seen nor did Evert come up on his emergency radio. The intense threat made search and rescue operations impossible.On return to Takhli, strike camera footage did show the F-105 just prior to and for a few seconds following impact. Because there was the possibility that Evert ejected safely, he was classed as Missing in Action.The Vietnamese never listed Evert as a POW, and when the POWs returned in 1973 they knew nothing of him. On 29 November 1978, eleven years after his loss, the Secretary of the Air Force approved a Presumptive Finding of Death, changing his status to Killed in Action/ Body not Recovered. Evert was promoted twice while missing in action, first to Major and then to Lieutenant Colonel.
In November 2000, President Bill Clinton made a state visit to Vietnam. Among other stops, he visited the site where Evert went down. Two of Evert's children, David and Daniel Evert, accompanied the President to the site, where excavations had begun earlier in the year.The excavations were completed in October 2001, and positive identification of Lawrence G. Evert's remains was announced on 30 January 2002. -
all things change.
When I think of how different my life was when I first started this blog it is crazy. I am on the other side of the circle. Where I was chaotic I am calm. Where I was careless I am now meticulous. I feel like I have finally gotten my feet onto some solid ground.
I miss myspace. I miss that it was so centered around music and discovering new music.
I'm going to post here again. Even if only a few people read it here. This is still my favorite rant space.
I have some really stupid rants on here from when I was going through my wild restless fueled by drugs and chaos years. I never want to erase a single word of it. Though I might roll my eyes at myself now - that ridiculous holds memories and lessons I'd better not forget or i'll have to wade through hell again.
I'm in the midst of a creative rebirth. After years of sadness and feeling directionless I have new vision.
The world is crazy right now. We have fake candidates spreading nonsense to sell their books, lots of people struggling to make ends meet, lots of poison proliferated as news. My mind has been incubating dreams in this time period in which its been hard for me to find my voice because i've been so shaky inside.
When something breaks inside of you sometimes it takes many years to be able to unpause those parts of yourself.
I love people. I was people watching yesterday at a convention called comikaze. I was struck by how shy and imaginative people were. There was a sense of belonging or the need to belong. It just made me want to create something cool to show them.
Today I have been ill. I've been lying on the couch thinking of production ideas for one of my new songs I am recording. 'daylight'.
Daylight
daylight creeps in
I can feel tomorrow rushing in
there you are..
moving out of
all your secret corners
rising up the sun...
and all my hopes and my dreams for us move up across the room
and shake out the filth
that's laid out
in my darkest hour
you are standing there like a soldier
in my darkest hour
you are holding me still
oh love,
you walk with me until the ghosts are shot
and my mind comes alive
oh love,
you walk with me until the ghosts are shot
and my mind comes back alive.
if the dark clouds sink and overwhelm me
you dive right through
and take me in your arms
and i'm spinning waves and backwards butterflies.
and all my hopes and dreams for us move up across the room
and shake out the filth
that's laid out
in my darkest hour
you're standing there like a soldier
in my darkest hour
you are holding me still
oh love, you walk with me until the ghosts are shot
and my minds comes alive
oh love, you walk with me until the ghosts are shot
and my mind comes back to life.