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  • NINE INCH DOUBLE: The story

    Current mood:blank

    Unfortunately I never get to take the time to record that I want to take so everything is always rushed. Same thing with ALL of the songs on my myspace.

    When I found out that Nine Inch Nails were taking an indefinite hiatus, I almost wanted to roll over into a coffin. Trent Reznor is one of my biggest musical inspirations. So this song is kinda my goodbye to him but a hello for the future.

    NINE INCH DOUBLE: The story....

    I realized that the lyrics are highly suggestive of hardbody drug use and yeah....that's the purpose. During a dangerously depressive stint, I had a dream that I became a raging druggie. I was unbearable to be around and I attempted suicide in the dream. The next day, I was so terrified I had to get the thoughts out of my head. And hence, "Nine Inch Double". I wrote the song and made the beat in one day.
    Pardon the flat notes and missed harmonies. It's a reference for what I'm actually going to do. But hey, I'm not Beyonce nor am I trying to be.
    One love....
    As of January 2010, please refer to http://www.myspace.com/thegreattragedymusic
    THE GREAT TRAGEDY IS AMONG YOU,
    IZM.
    11:22 PM

  • Mental Vomit

    Current mood:restless

    i'm very tired
    but i won't go to sleep.

    i feel songs bubbling inside of my spirit...

    "the beautiful people"
    "boiling point/ boiling over"
    "metamorphose"

    ....but i hear no lyrics.
    it's like little song concept bebe kids
    are running around
    jumping up and down on my intestines.

    i've been listening to PARDON THE STRANGER
    for the past 45 minutes...

    "i found a way for us to hide
    in case you want a place to get away from the voices and the lies
    its not a place to runaway
    lets just say
    a small spot where entry requires a special invite"
    - "All You Withhold"

    it feels like
    something i would say.
    and maybe thats why i feel stumped.

    i feel like
    a lot of my ideas are floating
    and manifesting through others.

    and its depressing.
    very depressing.

    i miss my mother
    but i know i cant emotionally give her
    the support she desperately needs.
    i feel like a terrible son.




    i'm beginning to feel very irritated by the thought of music.
    i guess when you go years of looking at the same songs....
    the same concepts....
    you just give up on it.
    there are times where i have said
    "fuck it.
    i'll get a 9 to 5."
    but i gotta be real with myself.

    for the first time in my life
    i feel like i'm onto something.
    but there are 250 million other people
    that might feel that way too.

    what makes me any different?
    what makes you any different?
    7:14 AM

  • In Kanye's defense.

    I had all of this beginning rhetoric to start this off but at this particular time and the particular way I'm feeling, I'm gonna just cut this short.
    I caught wind of the criticism that Kanye was receiving about 808s and Heartbreak and I was a bit taken aback by it. Critics are paid to criticize but artists are paid to create, not pick apart a man's masculinity. I would personally focus on perfecting my craft that emasculating a fellow artist because he exercized his right to freely express and create.

    I was listening to "Streelights" today and for the first time, I walked with him. I decided to take the journey and I discovered my own when the music let my hand go and I returned to reality. I opened my eyes as I began to play again and I noticed the passing cars, the passing trees, my present pain, my future troubles. I realized in so many ways, I have taken for granted the present moments, the past moments. I felt so self sabotaged.
    Not to say that Kanye depressed me but he made me feel like my brother listened to my struggle and told "I'm there" or "I've been there." That's what I miss about music. You would turn to a song because it gave you some sort of comfort or the convalescence...
    TBC
    11:09 PM

  • A dream/ No more Chinese food b4 bed

    Current mood:loved

    Greetings earthlings-

    I believe that dreams say a lot about not only our subconscious but also the things we reflect on, the things our brain retains, etc. I remember my dreams; the more interesting, more vivid ones. This was one of them and I wanted to share this with you and remind myself:

    I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO EAT CHINESE FOOD AND WATCH ROBOT CHICKEN AND THE PJ's BEFORE BED.

    Yesterday evening before retiring for the evening, I had the spiciest General Tso's Chicken...like...ever. After an episode of Robot Chicken, some H&G, and the PJs, I felt my eyelids getting heavy.

    And we all know what that means.

    What I remember of the dream is I was....somewhere. An apartment of some sort. I'm not sure if it was mine or not but it was quite nice. There was a view of the city outside of my window where I was with a laptop typing. At some particular point, I was holding the laptop or something with my wrists facing upward.

    SUDDENLY....(and no, I had no smoked or drank....well, I had a Corona with some Smirinoff in it but I don't think that had an effect on anything) Michael Jackson....

    Yes children, MICHAEL JACKSON....

    ...comes from behind me and says in his legendary whisper (some of what he said was inaudible and I remember thinking to myself "Let me turn this music down so I can hear him" says to me:

    "You know it's not good to have your wrists like that."

    And I thought to myself "OMG...is this some sort of death sign or something?"

    He continued....(some parts where inaudible so I'm paraphrasing)

    "It's never good to expose your Velvet Rope. It'll give others the freedom to drag you along by the reigns."

    I was awaken by my sleeptalking other half.

    SC: What babe?
    Me: Huh?
    SC: I thought you said something.
    Me: No babe. I didnt say anything.
    SC: Oh....I'm delerious right now.
    Me: No shit.
    SC: (inaudible sleep speaking)
    Me: Huh?
    SC: *returns to sleep*

    I woke up and thought about this dream. I looked down at my wrists and saw a long line that stretched to both sides of my wrists. And I really tried to think about what he, being Michael, meant about this "Velvet Rope" and being dragged "by the reigns". So I tried to break it down some.

    THE VELVET ROPE: This was Janet Jackson's sixth studio album, her most reflective to date. And not to mention, one of my all time favorite albums. On this album Janet exposed herself, in all of her depression, sexuality, etc. Janet said this to a journalist during the promotional period for the album:

    "This album is called 'The Velvet Rope' because it's about the need to feel special... Which I feel we all have. One example is when you go to the nightclubs. There's the people that have to wait behind the velvet rope vs. those that can just walk right in. They're 'special.' Then once the people are in, there's still this feeling that some of those 'special' people have, that they want to be separated from the rest. So there's another velvet rope, which leads to the VIP section. This need to feel special can bring out a positive side or a negative side."
    —Janet Jackson, The Atlanta Journal and Constitution

    ...and I (just now) remembered I was having a joke with the guys at Blockstars Production Studios (contact me for pricing. It's a great facility!) and we made a joke about not letting stars past the "rope" Hmmm....okay....

    DRAGGING BY THE REIGNS: To my knowledge, I know horses are controlled by what is called their reigns. I feel that at times we give people the freedom to string us along, to guide us the way the feel that our lives should go, the fun we should have, etc. These are the people that have no sense of self or are the mandated "people pleasers". If we allow people to drag us by the reigns, we lose our own sense of self, what makes us unique, what makes US.

    ...or maybe I was thinking too much.

    Godspeed
    10:14 PM

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