THE TRACKLISTING FOR BLUES LEGEND GORDON FLOON'S NEW ALBUM'S BEEN LEAKED!
BEYOND THE BLUES
1. Street sweeper killed my puppy 2. Momma's head 3. Pants (far from clean) 4. You got AIDS jack! 5. Man, I need a gun.. 6. Cocaine and gunpowder (I just sniffed) 7. Brown Brown! You're dead 8. Tube in my dick 9. Old man ate my sandwich 10. That ain't no pussy 11. Daddy's head 12. That ain't my baby 13. Eye out, Plunger in 14. Motherfucker not again
Hey, I have an awesome idea. Let's teach fetuses how to talk! I don't think it would be too hard. All we have to do is install a small speaker inside said woman's womb, and then put one of those instructional english audio CD's on. Just let it play on repeat for thbe entire 9 months of the pregnancy, and that fetus will start to fuckin talk my friends. Hold on, I just thought of something. We're gonna need a microphone in that womb as well, because it's gonna be really hard to talk to the fetus with all that belly in the way. The belly will muffle the fetus voice, and the fetus deserves to be heard. Ok, so we slap a lavalier microphone in there, and then, whammo, we're talking to some fetuses. And I would have many questions. First of all, I'd explain the situation out here in the world, and I would explain to the fetus how the fetuses dad created the fetus in a methamphetamine crazed orgy that took place in a kiddie pool full of Bailey's Irish Liqeour. I would tell the fetus, "and also fetus, by the way, your mom is a call girl, who cuts herself, and enjoys sexual acts with humorous names, like the rusty strawberry shortcake, or "dippin' the shrimp in the cocktail sauce", or "Double Dick Triple Pussy Pleasure Passage way driving down the dangerous anal love-way". Let the fetus know what it's in for, and then the fetus can decide whether or not they wanna be aborted. Then the pro lifers, and pro choicers, can finally shut the fuck up. Amen.......
Hi,
I have absolutely nothing to say. Just another fuckin day. Yeah a new year. Congratulations, you wanna medal father time. Do you want a fuckin medal pussy!? I didn't think so!
I came to ZERO new realizations today. I know that I like pussy, marijuana, empathy, and lollipops, but I knew that before today, so I have learned nothing new today, and am therefore somewhat disturbed. Maybe I'll learn something new tomorrow. Something that will change my world view in such a profound way, that I won't ever eat a hamburger or use bleach in my laundry again. A real life changing event!
I can feel it in the air people. Oh, the tides are turning Mister Johnny Five. They are turning.
Best regards and salutations for which I sincerely wish you the best thanks and regards,
Matt Lappin
Fuckity shitzles. It's 4 damn AM and I still cant get my ass to sleep. Lots of voices going on in my head. Most of them sound like me. One of them told me an idea that I found amusing enough to share with the my space world. And here it is:
Let's laser missile Michael Jackson! I know what you're saying; I'm out of my mind. What are you talking about Matt?? What in God's name are you talking about? Well let me tell something, God is on my side on this one, because I happen to know that God does not like to see little boys getting fucked, even when its Michael Jackson doing it.
Anyway, back to the plan. So Michael Jackson is already in the middle east, and we know that everything in the middle east is a potential target. We could just send a few missiles at him, and then say we thought Abu Zarqawi was in the same building or something. Easy Peezy Japaneezy friends! Let's get on this Bush administration. Your poll numbers are falling, and there's nothing people like more than to see the king of pop and boy molesting being housed by a laser guided missile. Approval ratings will sky rocket!
So it'll sort of look like it was an accident that we laser missiled Michael Jackson to death, but when Bush gives the speech about it, he can give a little wink and a smile when he says "accident" so everyone will know. That's when everyone will say to themselves and their loved ones "That Bush, he's a crafty one. We know he actually meant to laser missile Michael Jackson, and I think that laser missiling Michael Jackson is awesome!"
I harbor no hatred for Michael Jackson. I do think he molested boys and I am against that just like God is, but "Gotta be starting something", "Man in the Mirror", "Billie Jean". These are all quality tunes. I just really think laser missling MJ is the right move for his career. Stop him before he can do something stupid to further ruin himself. Only a matter of time before he opens up a neverland in Iraq, and starts teaching all the little boy about the "freedom" in his magical pants. And what a way to go out anyway right? Getting laser missiled to death. That's an honor. You gotta be someone important to get laser missiled. Those things cost like a million per missile or some shit. Most people dont get a million dollar death. I mean cancer is free.
Laser missile Michael Jackson. Laser missile him now.
